:: BY GRACE ALONE... ::

Betsy's thought and reflection on life--living by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.

:: Wednesday, June 04, 2003 ::

Moving Notice

This is an official notice that I will no longer be writing on this blog. May 31th was the birth of my new Movabletype blog (that I've been thinking about installing for months!) I'm in the process moving old entries on this blog (slowly) to this new address: http://www.madeforglory.com/blog/. Please check out this new address from now on! Thanks!

:: Posted by Betsy 4:29:00 AM [+] ::
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Free Woman
Friday was my last of work...I officially have regained my "free-agent" status as of 18:00 (PST) May 30, 2003. Now, I can finally begin to work again on some personal projects and goals that I've been putting off for quite awhile, such as oil painting, scrapbooking, experimental cooking, compiling a cookbook, reading & writing, practicing flute, piano and guitar, learning photography, sorting out my "OLD" pictures, working on my website, visiting friends and families, traveling...etc. Ambitious, eh? I also hope to use this precious time to reflect and to dig into the Bible more. I hope through this "free" time, my relationship with God will grow deeper.

I was sad leaving work today... (My emotion surprised me!) Five months went by really fast. Through work has its up and downs sometimes; God really blessed me with wonderful people and role models at work. God brought each of my co-workers into my life in a really strategic timing. I was searching all these five months (and perhaps, I still am). But I was really madly searching for a direction in the beginning of this year, while trying hard to "fit-in" to the Bay Area routines and lifestyles. It's been a tough journey coming back. I'm very thankful for all the encouragements, supports and examples that they have offered through the past 5 months

:: Posted by Betsy 2:47:00 AM [+] ::
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SF Daytrip: Golden Gate Park, China Beach, Jess' and Korean BBQ

The weather was expectional on Monday(5/26)! (God Rocks!) I was too excited on Sunday night, and I couldn't fall asleep for the longest time. The anticipation is kinda like when a little kid is waiting to go to Disneyland the next day. All these years, I've wanted to go to Golden Gate Park, but somehow, I never did. Sure, part of excitement and anticipation comes from going to Golden Gate Park for the first time, but majority of this excitement and thrill comes from the ideal that I get to spend a whole day with friends that I love. I had a wonderful time (though I was exhausted, sun-burn, and sore by the time I get home). It was surely a piece of precious Bay Area memory that I will not forget! Thanks guys!

We had a picnic somewhere in the Golden Gate Park (it's so big, and I have no idea where I was exactly). It was impossible finding a parking space there, but thankfully after (maybe) one hour of circling, we finally managed to park our frustrations at the parking lot and moved forward with our day of fun. BTW, it was kinda cool how everyone ended up just showing up or decided to go at the last minute (though it could be a source of frustration for planning). The more the merrier! I'm glad everything worked out great! We brought majority of our picnic food from Berkeley Bowl...Woo....Gourmet!

Hackysack, guitar, and food...What a great combination! After a yummy late lunch, some of us started to hackysack, while others were jamming on guitars, juggling, playing Frisbee & football, and taking a nap under this great California sunshine. I had so much fun hackysacking and singing praise song at the same time for more than one hour. I was so torn because I wanna to hackysack but I also wanna jam with Joe & Steve (we all brought our precious "baby" (guitar) with us). I kept on telling myself, "Okay, this is the last kick!", but somehow I found myself still chasing that foot bag like a mad women for hours non-stop. Last hackysack time I had was in China, it was fun...it served as our break-time activities during each long and dreadful STRAT meeting. Oh I still remember the "hackysack-fever" that i caught couple years back! I used to carry a hackysack everywhere, and a bunch of us used to start the kick whenever and wherever. Ahh...that was fun!!!

So I paid my price after hours of hackysacking and other "active movements" under the sun. Not only I'm sore (every part of my body aches), I also got sun burn on my face...@_@. I have hard time walking up and down stairs today at work...dude, this is kinda sad...I'm definitely so out of shape when I feel this degree of soreness just by playing hackysacks!

Here are some pixs at Golden Gate Parks: (check out that black carpet-like funny looking dog!)



After Golden Gate Park, we headed to China Beach to chill and also to get some good shots of the Golden Gate Bridge. (Dude, I never knew there is a China Beach out here; it kinda give me a "nah" feeling c'z it reminds me the word "China Man") This name does has its history; perhaps, somewhat ugly and forgotten. Chinese immigrants...they came a LONG WAY...this reminded me the PBS documentary series on Becoming American: the Chinese Experience. Anyways, here are some more pix for you to enjoy:




We headed to Jessica's place at Sunset District around 8pm. I finally got a chance to visit her place. We were just kicking and chilling there while watching the beautiful sunset from her house. No wonder it's called Sunset District! The sunset was grogeous and so was the day! We went to Brother's Restaurant (Korean BBQ) on Geary. It was a yummy spicy dinner. I love those little cold dishes (Kimchi, seaweed, bean sprouts, anchovy...etc) served in the Korean restaurants. Spicy food...yummm...It was quite a treat for me to have spicy food since I've been trying to cut back intakes of spicy food these days. (I got OD in China) Though I was definitely breaking out some sweats eating this meal; but, seriously, the spiciness in this Korean BBQ is nothing comparing to the degree of spiciness that I tasted in Yunnan. Anyhow, it was a great meal, specially the chance to eat Korean BBQ with such a crowd for the last time before leaving the Bay Area.




What a day! Wonderful memories with wonderful people! Days like this makes me think of how blessed I am...

:: Posted by Betsy 10:00:00 PM [+] ::
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Late Nite Run to the Taco Truck

So I officially started my "Eat-a-thon" yesterday. My goal is to tackle my Top-10 list in couple weeks. Personally I think it’s very doable even in couple days because many of these places on the list are more like "local-ghetto-to-the-max-snack-finger-food". However, if I want to eat all my favorite items on their manus, then it will probably take me AWHILE to tackle them all. For the interest of time and money, I will probably tune down my wild ambition in this "Eat-a-thon".

I like these food places because each place carries its own very unique characters and ambiance. Many of them are not the top notch dining place in term of food selection, taste, presentation, and price; but somehow they all made it to my "I’ll-not-forget-you" & "I’ll-forever-miss-you" list of Bay Area food experiences (or perhaps, Berkeley food experience). These places are hard to find anywhere else, since they are not those "franchise-chain-I-am-NOT-so-special-stores".

Oh btw, I'm seriously thinking about taking Sushi-house off my list since I think they somehow lost that magic air after their remodeling (it’s more commercial-like). Speaking of Japanese food, my unforgettable experiences (99’, 02’) at Sakae in Vancouver is still hunting me. My taste bud is waiting to get spoiled again in couple weeks! *drooling...*

Anyhow, let's come back from this prolonged digression. Let me tell you about last night's Taco Truck experience…Jeff, G, and I went to Taco Truck in Oakland around 11pm. So this place (on International & High Street) is not exactly the safest place to hang out, especially in the evening; in fact, that area has one of the highest homicide rates in the Bay Area. So technically Jeff & Andrew were actually risking their lives by taking me to Taco Truck last nite. ^_^ Honestly, I was a little scared going to that place, but I do feel much "safer" going with two "manly & brave" guys! (Thanks guys, you guys rock!)

This Taco Truck is actually a Taco "NO-MOVING" Truck. We believe it is stationed at the corner of the parking lot. If you asked why I like this place, I probably don't really have a clear answer for you. Perhaps, it’s more because those memories of "late-night-runs-to-ghetto-Taco-Truck" in college. I suspect that the food prep process is probably not so clean, and I’m not sure it has running water attached to the truck (I hope it does). But yeah, I think what draws me to this Taco Truck is a combination of its "ghetto-ness", "fright" of this neighborhood, and the nature of grabbing late night snacks with friends. Oh btw, I wish I have a picture to show you guys, but I don’t feel so safe taking picture in that neighborhood. So, sorrie lah…

So, we pulled into a side street near the Taco Truck and walked out the car quickly. Immediately after we received our orders, we jumped back into Jeff's car and drove off quickly. As we made a turn on to High St. on the way back to 880, we saw a police car and an ambulance drove by swiftly accompanied with its loud and daunting sirens. What an experience I said to myself!

After we got back in Berkeley, we ate our tacos at G's place. I didn't get home till 1:30ish. (This might sound weird, but it’s true: it’s been awhile since I feel comfortable and enjoyable hanging out in a group and somewhat actually felt I belong.) I had a great time last night, and I seriously felt that I was still in college. A bunch of us (post grad working slaves) sat around in the living room chatting, chilling, and playing Big-2 with push-up. What a night!

One more note: yesterday I also went to Blondie's Pizza and Top Dog for lunch with Genevieve. So two more strikes on my list. Though I probably gonna go to both places couple more time in the coming weeks. =)

:: Posted by Betsy 2:53:00 PM [+] ::
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Pix from May-19-2003
Here are some pictures from whirlwind graduation parties last Sunday...

Erick's Graduation

*Erick's Graduation at Zellerbach
*Jessica & me at Peony (Yumm...Dim Sum)
*Erick & the guys outside Peony, Oakland

Brittany's Graduation Party

*Surprise!! Brittany...
*Marc on the drums

Berkeley Flea Market

*Sound of Bongo & Conga...
*Burmese Marionette on sale...(I didn't expect to see Burmese stuffs there)
*Zebra "painting"...(I bought it for $7, made from tree skins on a cloth)

Campus View

*Famous Sather Gate
*Golden Bear & Campanile

:: Posted by Betsy 11:02:00 AM [+] ::
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Top 10 List

Since I'm leaving the Bay Area soon, I need to start hitting some special places--places full of old memories, places that I would like to visit, and places that the Bay Area has its one-and-only. Let me know if you want to hit these places with me!...Here are the Top-10-List of the places I want to visit, food I want to eat, and my favorite cafe'.

Top 10 places to visit:
1. Mount Tamalpais
2. Golden Gate Park
3. Alcatraz
4. Golden Gate Bridge
5. Asian Art Museum
6. San Francisco Zoo
7. Palace of Fine Art
8. Treasure Island
9. Berkeley Observatory
10. Gilroy’s Garlic Festival

Top 10 places to eat:
1. Mario La Fiesta
2. La Burrita
3. Top Dogs
4. I.B. Hoagies
5. Cheese n’ Stuff
6. Blondie’s Pizza
7. Taco Truck
8. Fenton’s
9. Sushi House
10. Vic Stewart’s

Top 10 Café:
1. Royal Ground Café
2. Au Coquetlet
3. Café Pressario
4. Sufficient Grounds
5. Free Speech Café
6. The Music Offering
7. Brewed Awakening
8. Café Strada
9. Café Milano
10. Wall Berlin Kafeehaus (closed)

:: Posted by Betsy 3:43:00 PM [+] ::
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Whirlwind Graduation Parties

Woke up by the noisy alarm clock at 8:30am! Dude, who wakes up 8:30am on Sunday?!? (Hmm…maybe lots of church-going-folks do…sometime I kinda like how Harvest don’t start till 3pm so I get to sleep-in most of the time on Sunday!) Anyhow, there goes my day of racing with the clock and hunting for parking spaces in this small town over packed with friends and families of the Class of 2003. Personally, I like graduations a lot c’z it’s a time of celebration when friends and families who gathered to celebrate the end of your suffering years at Berkeley (or your astonishing accomplishment at Cal!)

Wait, I forget to mention that I often get a kick out of “meet-the-parents” part…Seeing resemblance in the family is fascinating. (I always believe that family speaks lots about who people are. I remember my dad told me: how a person treats his/her mom or dad is often a reflection of how this person will treat his/her future wife or husband. ^_^) Well, anyway, I always enjoy meeting my friends’ parents because I get to thank them for bring my friends up as who they are so that I get to be blessed by these friendships!

Erick’s IB Graduation
Congratulation Erick!! YOU MADE IT!! =) Well, you made it awhile ago! I’m so that you get to come up from SD to walk. (My theory of graduation ceremony is that it is more for your family and your friends!!) To bad that I was late, so that I didn’t physically witness you walk across the stage and blowing air horn in Zellerbach Hall. I worked so hard trying to dig out my air horn from those boxes in the storage. One reason I love graduations c’z this is the only occasion that I get to use air horn since I don’t do boating stuffs) Oh well, maybe I’ll get to use it for your next graduation. ^_^

So we went to Peony at Oakland China Town for Dim Sum. We started off as a party of 5 and then it grew to 7, 10, 12, and then by the time we got to sit down, we have 14 people total. So 15 minutes after we sat down, Wing and Dan showed up at the table. After a 2 minutes discussion of how to fit them in, they took Hege and Mary’s spots at the table. 20 minutes later, Allen, Cory and Jeff showed up after coming back from Bay to Breakers in SF. Again, it was a fight to figure out how to fit them in since we want everyone to sit together. So we did it. 17 people in ONE round table with stacks of Dim Sum dishes. We had a yummy lunch; thanks for Erick’s parents! It was an..uh…“intimate” lunch since some of us were sharing chairs! heh…heh.. I was sitting between two chairs. =) It was a fun graduation celebration, indeed!

Berkeley Flea Market @ Ashby BART station
After the Dim Sum, we were driving back to Berkeley from HWY 24 to MLK. As usual we passed by Ashby BART station where they have flea market every Sunday; but this time, I couldn’t pass on this opportunity of going to flea market. (It was cool that both Jessica and Erick, and his parents wanna to go as well!) So we made a U and pulled into the parking lot of Ashby station. I was drawn to the drumming (conga, bongo and other percussions) immediately. Ahhh…I can smell, hear, see and feel Berkeley! I love it!

This flea market is full of interesting artifacts as well as useless junks. Walking around is almost like a treasure hunting experience. It reminded me the “Ultimate Bargaining Experience” in China. There is a large presence of African-theme artifact in the market, and I was SO drawn to all the tribal arts & crafts and many beautiful patterned fabrics. The prices these art works are mostly fair comparing to artifacts sold in ethnic stores in Berkeley. But I was puzzled by where these artifacts came from; I wasn’t so worry about whether if the product is truly from Africa; I was more concerned about how the merchants stock these artifacts. I was definitely even more concerned about how this money will play a role of supporting local tribal artists (or if ever possible). I worry about buying products that support illegal trades and from child labors and etc. I felt frustrated and anger every time when I look at how much merchants in the U.S. are selling those ethnic artifacts for and also knowing how much these artifacts actually cost in its local market prices while thinking about how much the local people actually make out of making those artifacts. Okay, maybe I’m thinking too much…

Brittany’s Party @ International House

Six O’clock in the evening, I rushed to the International House on Bancroft & Piedmont after a short break at home. Brittany’s parents threw her a surprised graduation party at the Home Room of the I-House on the second floor. It was “WOW”…almost like a wedding banquet I felt ^_^.

Brittany was first serenaded by Artist in Resonance (campus a cappella group) and then embarrassed by slide-show of her childhood pictures commended by her dad and followed by pictures of her college memories commended by Mike. ^_^ Four years has gone by so fast, I seriously think she is still a freshman or sophomore (that’s when I first met her.) Dude, that means, I’m OLD.

There were also live music by Marc (drum), Ben (guitar), Steve (piano) and a trumpet. They are all super musically gifted. Amazing! Toward the end of evening, it was just jamming & chatting. I had a blast jamming with them (though I only have my voice). It’s been so long since I last had a chance to JAM!

So the evening of celebration ended around 10pm. I can surely tell that Brittany is loved deeply by her family! She is surely a special girl in her parents’ eyes; and she is definitely very special in many of our (her friends’) lives. Congratulation Brittany! I’m blessed to have a friend like you!

:: Posted by Betsy 3:13:00 PM [+] ::
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U.S. Foreign Policy--Bush Doctrine

I was reading this article about "Bush Doctrine" on ChristianityToday. About a month ago, I saw this program talking about Bush Doctrine on PBS as well. It was very shocking and I had only watched part of it. (wish I had seen the whole program though).

I've been "caring" and reading into our foreign policy these days so much more than ever. I'm really concerned where it is going and how Americans Christians are shaped by current world events (or perhaps, do they even care? *my cynical side is talking out loud*) Sometime I don't really know how to react to the fact that someone, who has only traveled abroad three times in his adult life, is playing a major role of shaping the U.S. foreign policy.

Anyhow, couple verses I'll leave it to you to think about:

Luke12:48

"But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked."

James 3:17

"But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness."

Mathews 5:8-10

"Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

:: Posted by Betsy 4:07:00 PM [+] ::
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Intercultural Studies Program

I was browsing online yesterday, and I came across Biola University’s website. I was originally looking for the summer intensive TESOL training programs, but somehow I was led to the graduate program at the School of Intercultural Studies (SICS). I was fascinated by the curriculums and courses offered by SICS. They have a wide range of courses on interesting topics relating to different intercultural and social issues for cross-cultural ministries. Check out the list of courses ...I wish I can have a chance to sit through most of the classes...

It seems to me that Biola's Intercultural Studies program can offer me a solid training for my desire to pursue cross-cultural ministries in the future. Hmmm...part of me was so disturbed by discovering this fascinating program because I sort of made up my mind about Regent College (if I get accepted). But now, this wild-card came into the picture. I was definitely looking for a solid Biblical training and hoping to get more exposures in cross-cultural ministries as well. Earlier on in the process of school searching, I focused my searching on Talbot which is part of Biola, and I didn't see a suitable program for me since it's more concentrated on theological trainings. So I ruled out the possibility of pursuing to study there...but now, Biola just had a dramatic come back...I guess everything is possible. I never thought that I ever wanna to get more "schooling" since I was so sick and tired of school after graduating from Berkeley in 2001.

Hmm, life is full of decisions...tough decisions...I guess it will become more clear after visiting Regent College in early June and then Biola in late June. I would love to live in Vancouver, and they are so many things I like about Regent and living in the beautiful British Columbia. I believe experiences at Regent College will provide me a solid foundation in Biblical training as well as an enriched journey in discovering my role and obeying His commends. Their diverse student body also attracts me deeply (20+% international students). Regent is a small college focused on a holistic approach of Christian development with a rich and intimate community experience. However, it does not have a full scale of different departments like some other seminaries. Biola on the other hand also offer a solid biblical training as well as an intense and developed intercultural program for those who would like to focus on cross-cultural ministries. Biola’s student body is not so diverse in ethnicities, and it is located in SoCal (which is not on my top list of geographic preferences). However, I could save lots of living expense by staying with my parents in LA while attending Biola. Originally, I was hoping to gradually moving a little further away to my parents, so that they will get used to me not being around (so they won't miss me too much). But again, it will be nice to spend some time with them while preparing to move oversea for longer term.

Well, anyhow, I gotta give more thoughts into this…any suggestions?

:: Posted by Betsy 4:30:00 PM [+] ::
...

Some more Pix

Kinda wish I brought my camera with me last night. Well, it kinda worked out c'z there is no proof that I visited the S campus then =)

anyhow, here are some pictures I took recently.

:: Posted by Betsy 4:27:00 PM [+] ::
...

It's A&R time
So it was really refreshing to hang out with Alice, Ray and Alice's friends from Abundant Life last night. I was really encouraged by this group of people who have their eyes set on being a World Christian. It was neat to hear where people are and also where they are going in this Journey. I pray that we will all stay faithful and focus to what God calls us to do and where He calls us to be.

Time with Alice and Ray were the BEST!

Haven't seen Alice for many months since we departed from Debriefing in L.A. (saw her briefly at WCC though). It's good to see her! I'm amazed by how comfortable I feel being around Alice and Ray. (I thought there might be a sense of strangeness and foreignness after all these time) I guess the three months that we spent together is the magical clue to our friendships. Three of us have all seen each other's good and ugly sides, clean or messy rooms, morning hair-do and weirdest pet peevs through sharing intensive time together. There is nothing to hide, or no needs to impress one another. =) Last night, I felt so at ease of being who I am, and I felt this instant connection of being part of this big family. It kinda reminded me the time in The City...Miss y'all every much...last night, thinking about the rest of the gang a lot. I had a dream...and you guys were all in there...Didn't want to wake up this morning, because I was so afraid it's just a dream...

I woke up, and I was greeted by the warm morning sunlight peeked through the blinds. Where is the sound of roster crowing? Where is that noodle and "bao-zi" stand down the street? Where is the noisy morning market? Where are the people who I used to share breakfast and morning devotion with? It's Friday...back to one more day of work, then into my beautiful weekend in the wa-wa-land...=)

:: Posted by Betsy 12:26:00 PM [+] ::
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Sssssssssssssssssssssssstanford

After all these years being a royal California Golden Bear, I refused to step into the Stanford territory. =) For almost 6 years (oh my, six years already? scary) living the Bay Area, I had never visited the Stanford campus (not even drive-by). Last night, the royal seal had broken, and I was being contaminated walking around in the campus with Alice (S alumni) and Ray. As soon as I took my first step, I experienced this amazing power of reconciliation. All these years of misunderstanding and hatred between Cal and Stanford has been washed away so that I could embrace the beauty of the campus. Ok, just kidding, it wasn't that DRAMATIC ok...there was no shocking current of reconciliation nor tears running down two sides of my cheeks. =)

Well, so the campus was surely beautiful with amazing "Greek" architectural designs. Immediately, I was thinking, "Dude, how much does it cost to build this thing...man, they are rich!". Well, compare to how Berkeley builds its facility--slapped couple pieces of stones together and filled with concrete mixing to form this state-of-the-art modern architectural "display". OK, I'm exaggerating...but hey, seriously, Berkeley has much more down-to-earth-type but yet elegant kind of beauty. Diversity is what I shall call it...We have our "Greek" intellectual and traditional building (VLSB) as well as extreme modern architectural display (Wurster) mixing with Hippies influences from Telegraph Ave. I LOVE it...I LOVE it...

And another fact about Stanford campus, it is located in a wealthy, high-class, and Yuppie side of Palo Alto neighboring East Palo Alto where violence, drugs, and homelessness are part of everyday life. One street of separation, a whole world of differences. This image often makes me sad, sometime I felt I'm empowered to make a difference, but often time I felt defeated by the "reality" of this world. Perhaps, the real reality lies within the message of the Gospel, which is the Kingdom of God. Much thoughts about this topic lately, but I gotta find a way to accompany with some actions.

Living in Berkeley, I'm constantly bombarded by this hush "reality" of homeless population, drug, and violence. Though often I would like to reach out, but more often I am stopped by fear and covered with a veneer of ignorance. I often fear to become a subject of crime and violence since women are much more vulnerable in many circumstances. Frustration of this "perceived" limitation being a young woman often swallow my "DO-SOMETHING" eagerness. *sigh*...

:: Posted by Betsy 12:17:00 AM [+] ::
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Lisa's Tea Treasures

We went to Lisa's Tea Treasures at Lafayette this afternoon for Amy & Sandra's farewell luncheon. I'll miss working with them. They have been great encouragements to me, especially during this transition stage of my life. They both are very experienced field workers, and I've learned quite a lot from them. I thank God for placing them into my life at this strategic timing. May God continue to bless them greatly wherever they go...

So, it’s my first tea experience. (Didn't get to have tea last year at Victoria, BC! I heard they have some pretty neat tea places)...quite exciting! Well, it's more like the "Lady-Giggling" kind of excitement! =) I felt that we should start talking with some British accent while having tea. =) I order a Forget-Me-Not which includes: Earl Grey tea, assortment of tea sandwiches: tuna, smoked salmon, cucumber mint, nut pesto, corned beef; served with cheese cup, small scone or crumpet with jam, mini cheesecake, petite four and a truffle. Sounds like lots of food, eh? Well, they are all in petit size, so it's just about the perfect amount. I had quite a few kinds of tea...very interesting...Amaretto Tea, Strawberry Darjeeling Tea, Raspberry Earl Grey Tea, and Jasmine Tea. Okay, I gotta stop...too many different kinds...

Here are some pictures for ya...

:: Posted by Betsy 4:31:00 PM [+] ::
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Breaking News

An encouraging note from the field came in this afternoon...it brought a glimpse of reality, hope and God's Sovereignty into my life back in the States. I rejoice with a new addition to THE Family. I'm sure there are many more to come daily...This modern day version of Saul became Paul is truly amazing! Praise God! God rocks!!

News from the "frontline" keeps me on track of tasks ahead...

:: Posted by Betsy 1:12:00 AM [+] ::
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Vacation

Flying down to SoCal this evening...Totally looking forward to have this Friday and next Monday off. SoCal should be a bit warmer than here (my place has no insulations, so it's always a bit cold and damped). It's been colder than usual in the Bay Area. Around this time of the year, I should be putting away my winter coats and busting out my spring/summer outfits. But I found myself wearing many layers still...anyway...I can't wait to take two days off and just hanging out at LA home with YOYO.

What I want to do in the next few days...

Give YOYO a bath
Read...read...read
Good QT
Eat yummy Dim-Sum
Watch 44 episodes of [Yong1 Zheng4 Wang2 Chao2] Second Emperor of Qing Dynasty
Work on my new page

:: Posted by Betsy 11:57:00 AM [+] ::
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Perfect Submission

Luke 22:39-44

"Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him. On reaching the place, he said to them, "Pray that you will not fall into temptation." He withdrew about a stone's throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. 44And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground."

John 19:30

"When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit."

Resurrection

1 Corinthians 15:12-26

But if it is preached that Christ has been raised from the dead, how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith. More than that, we are then found to be false witnesses about God, for we have testified about God that he raised Christ from the dead. But he did not raise him if in fact the dead are not raised. For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either. And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost. If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men.
But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive. But each in his own turn: Christ, the firstfruits; then, when he comes, those who belong to him. Then the end will come, when he hands over the kingdom to God the Father after he has destroyed all dominion, authority and power. For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet. The last enemy to be destroyed is death."

:: Posted by Betsy 10:33:00 PM [+] ::
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Minus Two Tubes of Blood, Plus Three Dozes of X-Ray

This morning, I went to Alta Bates to "donate" my blood samples for routine check-up. (I've wanted to get a physical exam ever since I returned from Asia last year. Now I finally got time and also insurance!!) They stuck a needle attached to a suction device into my right arm and withdrew TWO TUBES of my blood. DUDE, it's been awhile since last time watching my blood shot out like stream of fountain. While I was trying hard to squeeze my blood out, I asked, "Wow, that's a lot of blood, huh?" Lab physician replied, "Honey, just hang in there..." (No, I didn't faint...^_^)

After the blood test, I drove couple miles south to the Imaging Lab on Telegraph. My doctor ordered an X-ray on my right wrist because I have a "weird looking hump" sticking out on my right wrist. It's been bothering me for quite awhile, and it is probably a result of the basketball injury in Nov 2001. I remembered that I went to ER with extreme pain on my right hand after the accident, and they did an x-ray my thumb. Thankfully it wasn't broken, but it was a pretty bad sprain ligament. They put a splint on my right hand, and I remembered I could barely drive my VW Beetle (stick-shift) home with my handicapped right hand. I had a hard time to eat with chopsticks and also brushing my teeth because my left hand is not so “smart”. Anyhow, pull back to present, so a nurse took me into this X-ray room and sat me down. She kept on mumbling that she couldn't find a protective suit. And then without going out to look for one, she went ahead taking an X-ray on my right wrist and only gave me a little "TINY" piece of protective patch covered my lower abdominal area and also part of my lap. Hmmm....I was quite concerned at that moment, but I didn't ask c'z I figured they should know what they are doing. I was expecting that they would gear me up with one of those heavy lead suit (like the one I had at ER), but I guess not...@_@

So, I guess I walked way from Alta Bates with two minus tubes of blood, but three plus dozes of X-ray. What a bargain!!

:: Posted by Betsy 1:54:00 PM [+] ::
...

Raining Day & Raining Soul...

Today was CalDay. Too bad for many incoming "cute" freshmen who were visiting Berkeley today c'z it rained the whole day (though the sun did peak out a little around 5 pm)...really unsettled & gloomy day @_@ My mind was kinda like the weather today as well. Dunno why...I tried to study for Perspectives class today at Starbucks around the corner, but that wasn't too productive AT ALL...Went to REI to satisfy my fantasy towards outdoor adventures. Walking around in the store, I got this funny feeling of being invisible--people didn't seem to notice that I exist...Came home and made myself two different kinds of pasta...Ate by myself (btw, I HATE eating alone) Suddenly, this vast sense of loneliness settled in and took over my soul...(it's probably one of those days that you just don't want to be alone.) I started to journal (paper-kind) and this Psalm came to my mind.

Psalm 42
As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food
day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"
These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng.

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon-from Mount Mizar.
Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me-
a prayer to the God of my life.

I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"
My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

Rained finally stopped...No more raging storm pounding the Bay or my heart. Peace and completeness immediately filled my soul after meditating Psalm 42...my soul pants for you, O living God, like the deer pants for streams of water.

:: Posted by Betsy 11:58:00 PM [+] ::
...

Conversation Last Night

Ring Ring...finally, a ringing tone when I attempted to dial to HK again to try to reach Koryl...
B: "Hello?..."(loud truck noise in the background)
K: "Hello???"
K: "Betsy???????
B: "KORYL!! (Busted in tears and excitement) This is Betsy!!"
K: "BETSY!!!!....OH MY...WE FINALLY GOT TO TALK..."

So, that was the beginning of our conversation. We talked for hours...I wish we didn't have to hang up and keep on talking...but it was almost 1am for me in California! She brought great encouragement and joy to my heart!! Hearing what's going on in her life gave me a doze of "reality-check". She brought me a fresh perspective of what really matter and the urgency of pursuing the Kingdom of God. How refreshing...it's just like eating an orange {Bing-Bon} popsicle in a hot summer at south-west corner of China! ^_^ You {Bing-Bon} lovers, you know what I'm talking about!

These days, I wrestle intensely with God about my next step...it's a big question and I'm sure it will be a ongoing quest for life. I have to admit that I don't particularly enjoy this process, and I almost wish this step can be completely omitted in our journey. However, I do see how this process allows me to discover a deeper and more intimate relationship with God.

Conversation with Koryl shined some light in this process of deciding what God has in place for me to do next. I realized lots of uncertainties and doubts that I have came from fears of not being in God's will by making a wrong turn. But perhaps, God is so much bigger than I think he is...Yes, God is omnipotent! I should trust His sovereignty and not doubt His ability to work in all situations. Koryl pointed out an analogy: If I were so concerned about following God's will and seeking after His own heart and also knowing how easy it is to walk astray, then God would totally honor my desire of following Him whole-heartedly. Therefore, I shouldn't be stressing out about afraid of making a mistake by choosing one or the other. I should be less likely to walk away from God's calling since I'm so concerned of staying in His will. Hmm...these arguments seem to be really logical. my geeky mind totally resonances in peace to the conclusion of that analogy.

anyhow...this following passage concluded the conversations I had with Koryl and also later on with God during my QT.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
Matthews 7:7-11

I shall ask; I shall seek; and I shall knock...dude, I should have done it earlier...=)

:: Posted by Betsy 2:48:00 PM [+] ::
...

Photos...

Yay, first time to share some photos with y'all...Enjoy! (I gotta figure out a better way to host my photos though...)

Most of the shots are taken during my evening reflection time...Gorgeous creation! His Glory still amazes me...

:: Posted by Betsy 1:14:00 PM [+] ::
...

To Go or Not to Go

Obeying God without dishonoring parents is surely a hard to do, especially for as an Asian-American. I poured out my heart in prayer today shortly after the conversation with my mom...it ain't too pretty. (She had never hung up on me; today was the first time...@_@) Am I being really selfish by putting them to worry? Or perhaps, I shall never go to places that are non-conventional in their eyes; otherwise I will be accused not being "xiao4-shun4" (fulfilling duties & expectations as sons and daughters). This issue will come up sooner or later as I choose to walk on this path. Every step I take in one way or the other is breaking and shaking their understanding and "rules" of this world. Persecution and insults shouldn't surprise me...Again, I remind myself this is the only beginning. My heart grieves by knowing my parents are hurting and worrying so much these days because of me. I seem to be the "troublemaker-type", "irresponsible", or "abnormal" kid in their eyes ever since I returned last November. My worldview/perspectives got changed; my understanding of who God is and who I am changed. And these changes are impacting almost every external actions and decisions I make these days. Despite all the changes within me, I know they still love me deeply and try to understand me. I have never wanted to hurt them; in fact, I love them so deeply that I wish they can understand the amazing love, joy, peace, hope, and grace that I'm experiencing each day.

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of the Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ--the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.
~Philippians 3:7-9

Wrestling with deeper issues behind this decision of to go or not to go, I'm surely feeling the weight of the Cross...I hope my decision ultimately will draw them closer to God...Grace isn't easy to understand, especially for Chinese.

Anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
~Matthew 10:38-39

:: Posted by Betsy 12:02:00 AM [+] ::
...

One Thing

I was having QT at a Cafe near my house in Berkeley showered by the warmth of California sunshine last Sunday. We had a record high temperature (80F) in the Bay Area last weekend, and everyone was busting out their summer clothes. (But now, it's about 50F for the past couple days...weird weather!) I pulled out my Dai skirt and put it on...^_^...it injected a stream of warm current into my winter heart.

One Thing by Charlie Hall (in the album of Porch and Altar) has been speaking to me these days...it's a really beautiful song (both lyrics and music).

Single minded, whole hearted, one thing I ask
That I may gaze upon your beauty Oh Lord
That I may seek your Holy Face
That I may know you in an intimate way
And follow after you all of my days
All of life come down to just one thing and
that's to know you oh Jesus and make you known

:: Posted by Betsy 11:02:00 PM [+] ::
...

Kingdom of God

I've been learning and reminded a lot these days about presenting "pure" Gospel, which transcends through all cultures, without packing into a specific culture.
This afternoon, I had a good conversation with Dan about the Kingdome of God in light of current world events. Here are some thought coming from the conversation:

Kingdom of Heaven is surely a mystery--Jesus had to speak on this subject matter through MANY parables. Parable of the Mustard Seed, Parable of the Weeds, Parable of the Hidden Treasure and the Pearl, Parable of the Net, Parable of the Wedding Banquet...You name it...the list goes on and on. We all miss the true essence about the Kingdom of God at one point or the other (or missing it completely). It's a life-long journey seeking and learning this mystery spoken so heavily in the Gospel.

Religion is a powerful thing. It brings peace to this world, and it also causes family/people turning against each other. We, as follower of Christ, need to exercising this power in a proper way. Looking at the history of mankind; perhaps, not many people have a solid grasp about the truth on the Kingdom of God. In the Kingdom of God, we shall see individual life and society being transformed by the Truth through Worship. Christianity is not just about transforming/substituing one's religious beliefs, cultural values or technologies...Through the process of bring true Worship, the Kingdom of God is established; life will be changed, society will be transformed, and justice, mercy and love will prevail. This holistic approach on life (no separation between spiritual and secular) can hopefully bring light seeing and understanding the mystery of the Kingdom.
Micah 6:8 speaks a whole lot...

He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.

:: Posted by Betsy 5:48:00 PM [+] ::
...

My Precious...

My precious Bible is back........!!! (thank you SO much, Gretchen!) I've always had this bible with me no matter where I travel, and this is the first time my bible travels to some far away places without me. He (my bible) went to Colorado all by "himself" under the loving care of the Caters! Technically, his traveling record has one more state than mine. Err...I wish I had went to CO, too. =)

My precious Bible is getting older, pages are torn; maybe "he" wants to be more independent. Or perhaps, I'm becoming more dependent on my Bible as I get older. Not having it around for the past couple weeks, I feel an intimate part of me is missing. I've surely become more dependent on the Word ever since last year trip to China, and having a daily doze of the Word is what keeps me going everyday. Sitting on my bed last night, read and meditated on the Word. How refreshing!! Holding my Bible tight and close to my heart; smelling the comforting fragrance coming out the Word. Ahhh, I never gonna to leave it behind ever again. (Well, it's not like I can't find another copy of the Bible to read...but it's just not the same. I have this Bible for years, and we've gone through a lot and traveled to many places together. I have grown to love the Lord deeply through this Bible, and the Word has become my "best" friend, my source of comfort, and my teacher.) Glad to have you back, buddy!

:: Posted by Betsy 12:49:00 PM [+] ::
...

Becoming American: The Chinese Experience

This past couple evening, I've been watching this series on Becoming American—the Chinese Experience on PBS. (Though I missed the Monday showing on program one: Gold Mountain Dreams, but I should get a chance to watch it this weekend.) Awesome documentaries take you through history, value, heritage, and identity of each Chinese-American generation. I definitely recommend anyone who calls himself/herself ABC, CBC, FOB, SOB, Banana, Twinkie, (or whatever) to watch this series.

Did you know that the term "Asian-American" is invented/used first in 1968? San Francisco has been the central spot-light for many generations of Chinese-American. Somehow, my attitude towards SF Chinatown has changed dramatically overnight after watching this program. Instead of seeing it as an over-crowded place with dirty and noisy streets full of "oriental" shops where one can get cheap and yummy food, now I have began to see the SF Chinatown with a set of curious eyes, heart-felt recognition, and unprecedented respect as a young first-generation immigrant in the early 90's.

We've come a LONG way on this journey of becoming American. From the Gold Rush to the Exclusion Act, to WW II, and then to this current era of prosperous new immigrants, each generation carries a different heritage, a dream, a baggage and a new identity. A simple goal characterized by persistent —pursue of happiness, a dream, freedom and a "better" life. This long journey explains why Chinese-American descendents often carry this "baggage" of striving for TOP achievement, an "unspoken" debt to repay their parents, and constant struggle of "fitting-in" to this "main-stream" cultural melting pot. It is true: we not only need to prove to ourselves in this process of becoming American; we are also required to prove to others around us. A quest of identity and roots, sandwiching between the two worlds; I can testify this daunting journey full of tears, sweats, fears and hope.

:: Posted by Betsy 5:03:00 PM [+] ::
...

It's Annie Time

Got a call from the "krazy" Annie this evening. So glad that we got to hang out and catch up for a bit. Spring break is in the house, so she's finally out of her "study hole", and I'm slowly coming out my "MIA hole", too. Seriously, I haven't seen her for AGES...I always enjoy sharing and laughing with her. Seeing her growing desire of wanting to know God more intimately is so encouraging.

It's always good to catch up with an old friend. We had yummy Chinese food at 168 in Richmond and chilled at Barnes & Nobles in Bay Street Emeryville. Bay Street (gigantic shopping outdoor mall/plaza) seems to be a new landmark in Emeryville (first thing one would see driving by 80 Fwy). Surely it’s a symbol of triumph of giant franchises over small local business. *sigh* Sometimes, I'm not sure what's better. I do enjoy these nice-looking new "yuppie" stores. However, I love those charming & quaint local business stores even more. How fun can it get if no matter where you travel, all stores look the same? I hope not.

:: Posted by Betsy 1:11:00 AM [+] ::
...

Contextualization

Contextualization of the gospel. This is a very interesting topic...I had a very "intense" encounter of an example of contextualized gospel at the Perspectives Class today. Still trying to process this experience at this moment (perhaps, my cold/flu has slowed down my analytical mind and perceptions channels). My whole class experienced a "Hindu" indigenous communion worship service. Very interesting (I chose to put it in this way for now)...Couple questions have lingered on my mind tonight:
1) How much can we redeem a specific cultural form and pour in a new meaning without getting ourselves into the trouble of synchronism, pluralism, and...etc?
2) Since gospel transcends through all cultures, one must be careful of avoiding package the gospel with his/her culture (or at least one must try not to). How much of what I practice or believe is merely cultural?

Tonight, I was surely challenged through this very different way of worshiping. I was forced out of what I consider as "comfortable" style of worship and ways of meditating on our Creator. Through out the whole experience, I kept on asking myself many questions: "why do I feel so uncomfortable?", "why do I question about the validity of this form of worship?", “How far can we go without challenging the Truth?", and "How do I cope with this existing cultural-packaged gospel without condemning or discouraging this Body?" Despite my many questions, this experience was so powerful in term of explaining the simple Truth of gospel of Christ Jesus.

In many ways, the debate/discussion of contextualization reminded me how I felt the need of stripping away my "old self/identity" when I first became an "Asian-American-Middle-Class-Christian". I had to adopt a new "cultural acceptable" ways of believing or practicing. Perhaps, part of me wanted to do so, so that I can leave behind my old "sinful" self and embracing this New Life. However, I do have to admit that I struggled all along in this process. It wasn't till very recently after a sobering trip back to my "home" land, I was able to truly embrace the culture I left behind radically in order to "fit-in" to certain cultural packaged of gospel. Now, being truly and fairly grounded in the Truth and the essence of the gospel, I finally have the confident, security, and knowledge to examine and then to redeem and embrace my heritages and culture. Being a follower of Christ and discipling others to be followers of Christ (experiencing spiritual, moral, and cultural transformations) are surely more important of what we do or we don't do. Hopefully, we are not defined by what we do; rather, be identified as a child of God through the redemption power from Christ Jesus.

I'm very thankful to be able to worship God in ways that I can understand, connect and accept...But perhaps, this idea of freedom in worship is also somewhat bonded to my American cultural heritage--individualism. If all it comes down to is a personal "individual" (or even a people group) perception of how to discover, develop and maintain this personal relationship with Christ Jesus, then, perhaps, it's beyond any individual's mind to judge what's valid and what's not. Anyhow, very thoughts-provoking presentation tonight...A lot of think about...

:: Posted by Betsy 12:28:00 AM [+] ::
...

Julie fell off the radar?

Well, not quite...^_^...Yesterday, I finally picked up my cell phone and ringed our dear RC Julie, who apparently was not on the radar screen for past couple months. (I should have taken the advantage of free weekend domestic long-distance calling more often.) After Ray's b-day BBQ at Lake Chabot, we were chatting and looking at the picture disk sent from Canada (thanks, Dan!!) Once again, we were talking about last year's trip to China...Each picture brought back a piece of valuable memories--some hilarious incidents, some frustrated thoughts, some tearing moments, some yummy dishes, and countless blessings.

I miss y'all SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much!!!! I gonna try even HARDER to reach the goal of visiting each of you by the end of this year. Gotta start planning soon...

So, I talked to Julie for 40 some minutes...When she first picked up the phone, she thought I was some telemarketers calling (c'z my voice sounded weird w/ this cold/flu-like symptoms) After I revealed my true identity, we all busted in laughing (we both are not the screaming-type). I don't quite remember what exactly we talked about, but I know we talked about almost everything. She's doing quite well, and I'm so encouraged hearing how God has been guiding her and also how God has been so faithful to her. I gotta do this (random phone call thing) more often. I miss her and the rest of the gang awfully a lot...

Slept 12+ hours last night. My cold is getting better, no more fever, still feeling a bit light-headed though. Quite sunny outside, wanna go out to enjoy the sunlight, but I'm leaning towards staying in my bed...a bowl of hot chicken soup will be the best....warm & yummy....

:: Posted by Betsy 1:35:00 PM [+] ::
...

A Ragged Cross

Solitary night, agonizing fight;
voices within rage war against the Might.
A deep call to God breaks through this silent night,
covered with tears and longing cry.
Thy people, thy Kingdom and thy glory...

A ragged Cross I see,
in total shame, humbleness and peace.
A perfect submission and King;
gazing at His glorious deed.

Grace piercing through the night;
my wish, my quest, and my dream,
grows blurry and indistinct.
Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in Heaven.

There lies a ragged Cross;
my anchor, the seal, and my peace.

(@Berkeley, 3/20/03)

:: Posted by Betsy 3:40:00 PM [+] ::
...

Perspectives...

Past couple weeks, lots of crazy things are happening around the world. I'm not so sure what to make of it...Confused? maybe...Angry?...perhaps, Sad? somewhat...Frustrated? a little...Uncertain???

Two weeks ago, I heard this really sad piece of news happened in Philippines. A bomb blasted off at the airport killed many people. This event hit me a lot maybe because Amy used to work with Bill Hyde (some years ago), a missionary served in Philippines who got killed during the bombing. Bill was at the airport picking up a missionary family just arrived Davae (this scene triggered lots of memories.) Imagine this family was just about to begin their exciting works in Davae, and they were greeted warmly at the airport by Bill who had been living there for quite awhile. It supposed to be a welcoming and celebrating scene. *sigh* Certainly not the best way to begin ministries...With great sorrows and tears, we lost another faithful servant on the field...It's hard to swallow, though I take comfort that brother Bill is actually with our Lord in Heaven. May God bring comfort to his families and friends...

In the midst of this "a bit" crazy world, maybe studying church and Christianity history isn't the best way to make someone feels better about this world. As sadly as it sounded, that's was my instant feeling after watching the A&E DVD series on the history of Christianity. Among all thoes big figures, only those seeking after God whole-heartedly bears real (good) fruits...It's quite sobering...I realized how messed up we (humans) are, and how inadequate we are carrying God's plan (or what we think it's God's plan) for the world. However, despite our inadequacies, sins, and unfaithfulness, God's sovereign plan is still unfolding itself through His un-surpassing grace and love. I believe Apostle Paul gave a very awesome explanation and view:

Consequently, just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men,
so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men.
For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners,
so also through the obedience of the one man that many will be made righteous.
The law was added so that the trespass might increase.
But where sin increased, grace increased all the more,
so that, just as sin reigned in death,
so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that the grace may increase?
By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? [Roman 5:18~6:2]

I'm in awe of why God still uses us writing His history...

So with this potential war situation...Thinking about many would possibly die without ever have a chance knowing Christ...Grief...not sure how to react to that either...probably will take me couple days to process through this...

Mysterious outbreak of pneumonia in Hong Kong and many corners around the world...people are even more "scared" & "shaken" like what's already happening in the world is not enough...I really worry about Koryl in HK. I hope she's okay...She hasn't got back to me yet through email...

Looking at the world, I have SO many questions for God, but as I turn my eyes on the Cross...I become speechless...It's a matter of perspectives...Cross says it all.

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died
My richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride

Forbid it Lord, that I should boast
Save in the death of Christ my God
All the vain things that charm me most
I sacrifice them to His blood

See, from His head, His hands, His feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did e'er such love and sorrow meet
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?

Were the whole realm of nature mine
That were a present far too small
Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all

(When I Survey The Wondrous Cross By Isaac Watts)

:: Posted by Betsy 11:58:00 PM [+] ::
...

Silence or Chaos...

Wow, it's been a LONG time since I last wrote anything on my blog...

Silence speaks loudly through my blog while my life is a display of total hectic and chaotic mosaic. Mosaic? Well, when I step back and look at it as a whole, it's a piece of beautiful and amazing ART. But if I closely examine at each small section or a Individual piece of mosaic, it's just a bunch of random pieces that don't necessary seem to fit into any section, though, each piece stands alone as an unique art piece. Maybe this is how I feel about my life right at this moment...There are gazillion random pieces are simultaneously lit up by the Light; perhaps, it looks chaotic and random, or even overwhelmingly "busy-looking". Well, One day, when this Light shines on every piece of this mosaic...it's a beautiful piece of art by my Creator...Now, I can only imagine...

I Can Only Imagine
By Bart Millard

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side
I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son
I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine

:: Posted by Betsy 10:44:00 PM [+] ::
...

Beautiful sunshine...a very warm Saturday afternoon. Took a walk near my neighborhood--blooming flowers, singing birds, and winter sun. Slept 9 hrs last night, plus 12 hrs the night before; I think I have finally caught up my "beauty-sleep" that I lost last week...=)

I finally took the package for China to "You Send Me" (shipping shop around my neighborhood)...I didn't know what I was thinking...I should have taken the package to the post office instead. So I discovered Fedex CAN'T send my package because they have absolutely NO IDEA the city that I want to send to...*sigh*. Sadness, I thought they can deliver the ENDS of the earth... So I tried UPS...well, UPS rocks because it does send packages to every corner of the earth (though I really don't like their delivery service in U.S.). However, sending a 5 lb package to China will cost me USD$68.84. WHAT THE DO-DA-DA...I might as well by a ticket and fly to China...=P. After 30 second of mind-wrestling, I decided to send it anyway because the people receiving the package worth a lot MORE than dollars. Walking home, I was pondering how in the world UPS could charge almost $12/lb sending packages to China. Then all the sudden I realized I forgot to include some pictures in that package..."Too late" (I thought in my head). So with the lingering thought of "maybe USPS airmail might be cheaper, and faster than I thought", I used the USPS website to estimate the shipping cost and day for 5 lb package; it turned out to be only $36 (7-10 days). DUDE, I felt jaded... I called "You Send Me" wondering if my package was till there and if i could cancel the shipping transaction. Yappieeee, my package was still on the rack waiting to be picked up...so I got a full refund!! I just save $32...=)

Opened the package; wrote another card to a friend; put couple more pictures in the box; sealed it with many layers of tapes & prayers...now, I'm at ease...gonna send that baby on Monday for sure...^_^ USPS ROCKS....

Looking at those goodies ready to be sent to China; writing letters to my friends with my rusty Chinese...much thoughts and emotions aroused in my heart...I miss them so much!!

:: Posted by Betsy 6:10:00 PM [+] ::
...

Berkeley, Santa Cruz, LA, and Irvine...I've been on the road ever since Friday...Can't wait to go home...Had many interesting experiences during the past 5 days, and I hope to share with you guys more when I get back...=) This trip to Irvine is my first flying "business" trip. I LOVE the nature of all my business trips because my job is to share with people about God's glory and passion for the lost! What a great job!! I get to travel to praise God and see his people praise Him...=)

Staying at my parents' tonite...It's kinda nice that I get to visit them shortly (and my Yo-Yo, too) God's timing is perfect...I got to "talk" to my mom (face to face) about my future direction and possibility of going to Regent College for seminary training. I brought back some materials for my mom to acquire more info about theological training and about Regent College. I believed that she felt so much better after "studying" those information I gave her. Praise God that we get to discuss this peacefully, and I would say that I walked out of our conversation with approval and blessing from her. Wow...I could never even imagine or dream a moment like this...My prayer is answered...It's a GREEN light. Moooooooving forward!! ^_^

February flies by really fast...I can't believe March is around the corner already...Life has been busy but fruitful covered with God's glory and grace...What a JOY I found in Him!

:: Posted by Betsy 1:41:00 AM [+] ::
...

Off for WCC (World Christian Conference)...Bye...Have a good weekend & Happy Valentine's Day...^_^

:: Posted by Betsy 12:35:00 PM [+] ::
...

But he said to me,

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. ~~2 Corinthians 12:9

:: Posted by Betsy 11:30:00 PM [+] ::
...

11pm, sitting in my bed; sipping a cup of hot Jasmine tea; reading & writing on my laptop...what a way to spend my evening...

Had a crazy day at work...i guess i deserve a break...my mood was like the bay area weather--cloudy, rainy & unsettled. It was one of those blahhhhh day, and it made me think TOO MUCH...Of course, fruitless thinking doesn't get me anywhere, it only brought more questions and doubts...

Called Jannette today...it was good to chat with her for awhile...I appreciate her listening ears...one of those days that I just want to TALK to people...I miss her much...wish i can talk to her face to face...

Last night, I got all excited about thinking and dreaming about going to CO...I hope it's not gonna be just a dream...I hope I can really make it...I miss y'all very much; long to see you face to face...*sigh* Been thinking about it the WHOLE day, driving me a little crazy...Now, I shall PULSE and listen to what He has to say...

:: Posted by Betsy 11:19:00 PM [+] ::
...

Cloudy sky, cold morning...this is more like the Bay Area winter weather...^_^ for the two weeks, the weather here has been GORGEOUS! High is the lower 60s and low is 30s and 40s...It's not too bad when the sun is out, it feels like 70s...(now, I’m making those live in the Great White North jealous...you know who you are...^_^) I was strolling up and down Solano Sunday afternoon right before church (yes, service is at 3pm); I sat right by a cafe' on the side of street (cell phone off) journaling, reflecting, people watching, bathing in the California sunlight...Can a Sunday afternoon get better than that?

Sunset yesterday was more than gorgeous...I stepped outside from the office just to catch a glimpse of God's glory...One thing I learned while traveling in China was that every snap shot of beautiful landscape and creation is a glimpse of God's glory...Photography is simply a way to catch God's glory and His adoring natures. Yesterday sunset was one of the pretties one I've ever seen in the Bay Area...I wish i could post the pix and share with you guys...Purple & blue sky with lingering burning red covered with misty clouds near the Golden Gate and Mt Tamalpais...as if God's presence was lingering near Mt. Tamalpais.

:: Posted by Betsy 10:51:00 AM [+] ::
...

So I was at this Afghan Summit in Fremont last Saturday. THAT was interesting...

I called it "Heavenly Karaoke"--together with people from many different ethnic groups with their own unique expressions worshipping God--the One and only God. The power of Jesus' blood brought forth reconciliation crushed through our fear, misunderstanding, and prejudice hearts and souls. All the sudden, I realize, God loves the Muslim & Islam world as much as he loves East Asia and the western world. This is not a NEWS, but it's the TRUTH...

I don't know why it hit me so hard...it's not like I have "problem" or hatred toward these groups of people, but I have to admit that I don't feel "comfortable" around them. Perhaps, I didn't realize how much influence that the media and news got hold of my mind...It kinda just slipped through the back of my mind and began to create an invisible wall...Since we're living in this highly information and technology oriented era, I guess it's kinda hard to filter out all the info we are bombarded by daily...Still gonna try to guard my heart, "must resist..."

You might wonder why I would even bother to go to Afghan Summit (no to mention I had to miss Dave's birthday lunch...) as a "middle-class-yappie-this-is-my-whole-world" Asian American Christian living in the Bay Area. Beside the fact that God is challenging my world view these days, I went to the Summit because I got invited to share about my Caleb Project Research Expedition last fall, to promote/advertise the Mini Research Expedition (MRE) in March. MRE is AWESOME--to actually see what I learned on the field being applied in local settings. THAT'S exciting!! (it’s funny c’z things/events like MRE were actually the reasons/motivations for me to sign up for the CPRE originally) To see this strategic method for church planting being implemented in the Bay Area on specific ethnic group is soooooooooo cool...=)

:: Posted by Betsy 7:43:00 PM [+] ::
...

Happy Chinese New Year!!

Weekend Get-A-Way!! U BET!!...Spent a weekend at Davis (1 hr 20 min from Berkeley). It was quite refreshing leaving the Bay Area for a bit (honestly, I was a bit anxious to leave Berkeley)...Life is still a bit crazy busy at this point...The drive to Davis was very pleasant...Green fields, farms, hills and dense fogs in the valleys...it reminded me so much of the Dailand...hmmm....

Spending time with Dan & Angei & the kids--Brandon & Nicole are always refreshing and draws me closer to the Lord. They are awesome role models who played very important roles in this journey with God. It was them through obedience of their faith stretching their loving arms to me when I was lost...It was them who encourage me to walk on the water by faith...Coming back from the trip, who would take time to listen to my stories? They do, always! Every time I stay over at their place, we always stay up till 3am talking no matter how tired we are. This time, no exception...we stayed up till 3:30am after the kid went to sleep...

Guess who else did I get to see this weekend?? Andy Bao!!...wow, that's a pleasant surprise. Andy is my friend from high school and youth group. It was like a youth group reunion (Dan & Angei were our youth group counselor). We played with the kids, talked about life, recounted God's blessings through out these years...Time goes by fast...No long ago, we were still in high school, and now we are all college graduate out in "real" world striving to make sense of "life"...As for Dan & Angei, Brandon & Nicole are growing up fast...I still remember when Brandon & Nicole were born...now they are all big kids =)

It was a privilege to share with Dan & Angei's church about the Dai on Friday night. Thanks for all your prayers along the way...The night before the sharing nite, I experienced major spiritual attacks--negative incoherence thoughts, unwillingness, loneliness, and lost hope. But God's strength is made perfect in my weakness. I walked into the sharing night with many doubts and uneasy feeling, but very soon these "feelings” are crushed by the powerful presence of the Holy Spirit. All the doubts and shames fleet at the presence of His glory...

The sharing flows really smoothly, and the Holy Spirit prompted many words and stories during the sharing. (I've never considered myself a good public speaker, but the Holy Spirit is.) It's really amazing to see people were immersed in the awe of God's glory and his marvelous deeds. You can almost see through their eyes that they see God...Hallelujah! People's hearts were touched, stirred, and renewed. God's passions for the unreached were flooded through every chamber of their heart. Their prayers and souls were cried out for the Dai people and the unreached. It's such a wonderful picture to see God's people come together for praying for His Kingdom to come among the Dai people. And the fact that was the first time they ever heard about the Dai...The Holy Spirit was really at work! Can you believe this? They were praying for the Dai with spirit and in truth!...I got so blow away...

Praise God for using me as a vessel to share His passion, compassion, conviction and Truth! What a privilege it is for us to be a messenger of God!!!

After the sharing, many people were encouraged and inspired by the Holy Spirit; and they even invited me to share at other churches around the Sacramento area... This is really awesome... God wants his people to know His heart!! This sharing is not only a chance for me to communicate God's blessing, it is also a channel for God to bestow His blessings on me...People spent some times laying hands on me and praying for guidance and blessing from God. I was tearing while they were praying, and it's almost like they were sending me off back to the Dai...

Another sharing night, another act of God's miracle...It's neat to have complete assurance from God that I'm at exactly where He wants me to be (Praise God!! c'z it took me awhile to have that understanding and assurance)...God's is preparing me to go back one day...As for this moment, God places me here to mobilize his churches...And God has blessed me so much so that I can be a blessing to others......

:: Posted by Betsy 5:56:00 PM [+] ::
...

God often surprises us with His Grace...
Grace picks us up when we fall...
Grace is like the soft & gentle whisper in the midst of loud and noisy voices...
Grace warms our cold and bitter hearts...
Grace is like a sharp array of light shines through a dark tunnel that gives us hope...
Perhaps, Grace is what keeps us going everyday...

:: Posted by Betsy 10:26:00 AM [+] ::
...

A cool song that spoke to me today...

Your Grace Still Amazes Me
By Shawn Craig, Connie Harrington

My faithful father, enduring friend
Your tender mercy's like a river with no end
It overwhelms me covers my sin
Each time I come into your presence
I stand in wonder once again

Your grace still amazes me
Your love still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
Cause your grace still amazes me
Your grace still amazes me

Oh patient savior, you make me whole
You are the Author and Healer of my soul
What can I give you, Lord what can I say?
I know there's no way to repay you
Only to offer you my praise

It's deeper, It's wider
It's stronger, It's higher
It's deeper, It's wider
It's stronger, It's higher
than anything my eyes can see
Your grace still amazes me

:: Posted by Betsy 12:42:00 AM [+] ::
...

Couldn't sleep last night...I was overwhemed by God's glory, power and grace. My mind just couldn't cease to worship Him, and I was totaly in awe of adoring His glory and beauty....

"I will sing of the LORD's great love forever;
with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations.
I will declare that you rlove stands firm forever,
that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself." (Psalm 89:1-2)

Can I recount ALL his blessings? I probably can't because there are too many...Can I recall His stories? Still, there are too many. But I will speak of His glory as often as I can so that His Name might be praised forever and ever. Amen...

Last night's sharing was a totally blessing!...It was really special to me that I could recount his blessing; recall his stories, speak of his glory to all my supporters and friends on my birthday. I was able to present the sharing night as an offering to God so that he might be praised and worshiped. It was the best birthday gift ever--experiencing the power of Holy Spirit. To see Spirit at work touching people's heart...I was totally blessed...I pray that seeds were planted and would grow to maturity eventually by God's grace.

I'm not a great public speaker...and I believe that I have never really enjoyed public speaking all these years in the States. At my sharing night, I was completely transformed by the Holy Spirit as if He was the one speaking through me. That was a really awesome experience. Perhaps this verse can help me explain my experience last nite...

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." (2 Timonty 1:7)

By God's grace, I was able to...
speak with BOLDNESS...
proclaim with the POWER from God's words...
tell God's LOVE for the nations...
have SELF-DISCIPLINE. (guided by the Holy Spirit, knowing what to speak and what not to speak)

May this be my prayer...(My favorite Psalm this month)

Psalm 67

May God be gracious to us and bless us
and make his face shine upon us, Selah
that your ways may be known on earth,
your salvation among all nations.

May the peoples praise you, O God;
may all the peoples praise you.
May the nations be glad and sing for joy,
for you rule the peoples justly
and guide the nations of the earth. Selah
May the peoples praise you, O God;
may all the peoples praise you.

Then the land will yield its harvest,
and God, our God, will bless us.
God will bless us,
and all the ends of the earth will fear him.

:: Posted by Betsy 11:51:00 PM [+] ::
...

3 hours till my first official sharing night at 7:30pm (PST)...I'm a bit nervous (worry that I might not able to convey the message clearly; worry that I might fall into temptations of pride...) It's His works, and I'm just a messenger. His grace is sufficient for us each day! May His will be done...

"From Attalia they sailed back to Antioch, where they had been committed to the grace of God for the work they had now completed. On arriving there, they gathered the church together and reported all that God had done through them and how he had opened the door of faith to the Gentiles. And they stayed there a long time with the disciples." (Acts 14:26-28)

:: Posted by Betsy 4:26:00 PM [+] ::
...

Dude...99 Ranch is flooded with people shopping for Chinese New Year's stuffs...Word of wisdom: avoid 99 Ranch this week if you can!! I was just gonna go in and grab couple items for the sharing night tomorrow...and I was stuck there for about one hour...CRAZINESS...

I was there at 4pm (who would be shopping for groceries at 4pm? "EVERYONE")...The 99 Ranch in Richmond was packed, and I had to say "Excuse me!" the whole time walking down every aisle. Every register has dragon-line...and you can literately hear "$$"...they are making big bucks!!

Chinese New Year is next weekend...I really miss the Chinese New Year's time growing up in Taiwan--firecrackers, yummy food, HUGE dumplings, pan-fried rice flour cake, family gatherings, overnight MJ game, red envelopes,...etc. It's been so long...my memories of the CNY is slowing fading...I miss it a lot!

:: Posted by Betsy 7:26:00 PM [+] ::
...

So I was talking to my mom, and she asked me these questions: "Why would people willing to teach/serve oversea at the most rural areas on earth at a very low paid (or almost non-paid)? Why would people willing to work so hard and give up their comforts and a 'potential-promising-future'?" She kept on mumbling, "It's so weird; it's weird...I can't figure out...It doesn't make sense." [she learned on the news the other day that many people dedicate their time & energy to serve the under-previleged groups in developing countries.]

These words crushed through the bottom of my heart...I was speechless, and I didn't know how to respond. I wished I could just yell out "It's all because of Jesus!!"...my intermost being was in awe...I praise God for these questions...finally, we're different! and the world is wondering WHY...

:: Posted by Betsy 12:44:00 AM [+] ::
...

wow, so I guess I'm pretty bad at posting stuffs nowadays...I got sucked right back into high-volume scheduling life @_@

Despite of "busy-ness", I'm glad I wasn't just running around purposelessly or aimlessly meeting all my appointments...These past weeks, I found my "busy-ness" quite fruitful and rewarding. =) God has brought many talents for me to take care, and it's up to me how should I invest and multiply them to bless others people. I've been having a blast juggling between opportunities & responsibilities, and it's excited to greet many surprises that God brought to me each day as I continue to walk in faith according to His schedule. I've been able to experience grace and faith in a richer dimension. I guess after all, it's not a bad idea to have God in the driver seat...all we have to do as passengers is to respond to the destination he drops us off and also to hop on when he comes to take us to another destination!

These days, I've been able to truly experience Matthew 6:25-34. God provides...food, clothes, shelters and daily needs are the smallest dimension of his provision. Perhaps, God will act wonders only when one's situation and faith allows God to show wonders. What a JOY it is to experience His blessing while walking by faith!! "Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." [Matthew 6:33] I've been wondering about how is it possible for me to go back on the Field again with all my obstacles and responsibilities. But God has begun to show me--"Is anything too hard for the Lord?" [Genesis 18:14] "I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?" [Jeremiah 32:27] It's neat to see how God slowly lights up the runways as I prepare to take off my journey of pursuing what-really-matters¡K

:: Posted by Betsy 4:53:00 PM [+] ::
...

Can you believe it? It's Saturday already!! How strange...how come time seems to be on a faster track in Berkeley than in anywhere else? Perhaps if one can truly grasp the essence of Einstein's Relativity Theory, the person might able to solve this puzzle?Whatever, I'm not a physics major? I seem to never have enough time when I'm in Berkeley...finally, I have time to sit quietly reflecting?

Monday night was a blast!! Jannette and Ray came visit me in Berkeley after work. This mini-reunion was like drinking a bottle of cold lime-favor Gatorade after a 500m race to the finished line how refreshing and recharging! We talked a lot cracking tons of sunflower seeds and drinking cups of hot tea together; just like when we were in the Dailand!! (too bad we don't have those little chairs to sit on, that would be perfect!!) Hearing about what God has done and about our experiences in adopting a new life back in the States was comforting and encouraging. I felt very at ease, safe and secure when I'm with them, perhaps I know they will understand, and they will listen...I rejoiced in our gathering, though I know this was so temporary. But I dwelled fully and deeply in this fantasy night of dreaming about the Dailand, recounting God's blessings, remembering our friends in The City, seeing God's glory, worshipping with spirit and truth, anticipating our futures, and praying for promise and truth. Ahhh...I just can't get enough of these spirit-filled gatherings! Nowadays, it's RARE walking out of a gathering feeling edified, recharged, and refreshed praise God?

We had dinner at Cha Am located at the corner of Shuttuck and Ceder. Cha Am is one of the best Thai food places in Berkeley (personally, it's my favorite ^_^) So why did we choose this place? Uh... Dai/Thai? Get it? Hee hee talking into Cha Am somehow gives me a sense of "completeness"? perhaps, it draws me a step closer to the Dailand.

The waitress sat us down at a table in the cozy balcony in the front. Upon seeing my Dai bag, she reached out her right hand trying to TOUCH it (no, she's not trying to jack my stuffs). You can see her eyes lit up instantly when she saw my Dai bag, and she began to ask me about whether I got this bag from Thailand?) well, close enough...I got it from Dailand...hee hee...So we chatted for a bit (our "instinct" ethnography side came out instantly), and we found out that she's from central Thailand about 10+ years ago. She still goes back to central Thailand every year. She missed her home a lot; "It's a beautiful place!? she said. Yes, indeed...We asked her if central Thailand has different language from southern or northern. She said that there are some similarities in common/simple phrases, but generally they are different. Sometimes she can understand and pick up a phrase of two. Upon hearing that, I was totally itching to try my rusty Dai phrases (every since I came back, I'm so itchy to try my Dai phrases, and my ears are deprived from hearing Dai--an exotic but familiar sound) " Guy-Loh-Loh", I spoke with a bit of hesitation...she smiled--BIG SMILE, and she corresponded me with a Thai phrase. I flipped at that instant moment, and you can see through her eyes--the joy, excitement and comfort come from hearing a familiar & heart-warming?mother tongue. That instantaneous connection made my day, perhaps my week, or even my month. For a second, I felt I was back in Dailand...I felt at home and at ease

:: Posted by Betsy 1:44:00 PM [+] ::
...

Moved into my new pad in Berkeley today...This place is surely a GIFT from God--act of miracle. Quiet little dwelling...I'm so blessed.

:: Posted by Betsy 11:59:00 PM [+] ::
...

Spent 7 hours on the road today...what a way to spend my New Year's Day...=) Well, it was a pleasant drive though...lots of reflection time and chatting with my family...

Today is officially the end of my "I-GOT-NO-BOSS" period, tomorrow; I'll dive into a new start at a non-profit organization ERRC in Berkeley. I'm really excited about this short-term commitment that God has placed for me while I take Perspectives Class in Berkeley and search for my next step, and I look forward to new challenges that come along with this job and in this new year as well.

Tomorrow, this new job will begin with two-day retreat at Bodega Bay. What a nice way to start a new job ^_^...Can't wait to meet my co-workers!
(I guess I won't be writing my blog for couple days since I'll be at a RETREAT *get-away*)...

I went to a special prayer meeting (a call to prayer for first week of Jan. 2003) after I got back to the Bay...It was really refreshing...focusing praying for the community, nation, unreached and the world was a great way to start this new year (we even got to pray for the Dai) To me, this prayer meeting is such a special blessing--be able to pray together with believers. I really miss it after leaving CPRE community. I guess after all, I do miss the early morning get-together we had EVERYDAY...though I really had a hard time to get up and to focus on matters. I remembered complaining about meeting everyday was TOO MUCH...(well, it could be if you spend 24-7 with a group of 9 people)...But now, I seriously miss having these other 8 awesome people around...(I suppose I don't really have a healthy, supportive, and encouraging community back home yet/anymore...)

I wonder when I will get to see all the CPRE GANG again....hopefully soon...gotta try to visit them all!!

Okie dokie, good night everyone...I gonna use my alarm clock for the first time after having a whole month luxury of "waking-up-whenever" restful time...

:: Posted by Betsy 1:00:00 AM [+] ::
...

Happy New Year!! Here comes the year of two thousand and three… (So it will probably take me 4 months or so to get used to write 2003 on my checks ^_^)

Spent the New Year's Eve with my family eating SPICY HOT POT and playing MJ...Though I really wanted to celebrate this new year at my friends’ new year party, but I’m glad that I decided to stay home instead of spending my New Year’s Eve else where.

A whole new year again…I’m very excited about this coming year’s journey of seeking God’s glory as He continues unfolding his calling and plan for me. I’m even more excited about this new defined identity and new perspectives that God has given me through this sober trip to the Dailand. In the midst of all these unknowns and uncertainties, blissfully I found myself immersed in the eternal springs of Joy and Peace from above. For once, I actually feel good about who I really am in Christ. I actually know why I do what I do; I know what God wants me to do; and thankfully I have the full assurance of knowing I’m again walking in the Lord’s will. As I stand firm on the solid ground of present, I eagerly look forward to the future with hope in Christ.

I guess I now have a glimpse of what Apostle Paul was talking about in Philippians 4:12-13:
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”

Perhaps, to be content and satisfied with God is the first step of experiencing Grace…

During my first QT in 2003, I found this passage really gripping:
[Ephesians 1:3-12]
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will-- to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment--to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ. In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory."

This is my prayer for all of us in 2003: May we take full charge of this purposeful and chosen life to sprint toward seeking God’s glory.

:: Posted by Betsy 1:27:00 AM [+] ::
...

Snow in LA? YES BABY...well, I was standing at the peak of Blue Ridge (7381 ft) in the Angeles National Forrest (just about one hour away from my LA home)...technically I was still standing on the ground of Los Angeles County...so my opening line was TRUE...SNOW in L.A (county)....So as Californian, of course I was ecstatic seeing snow (well, it's actually ICE rather than SNOW) but yeah, it's especially excited to bring my parents (who probably have only seen/experienced/touched snow for at most 3 times in their whole life) and my dog, YOYO, who has no idea what snow is...In many ways, this trip is extra special because it's been a LONG time since the last time that my whole family took a trip together, not to mention the fact that we actually brought our precious third daughter, YoYo, with us. I really treasure these moments because I know it's harder and harder to get everyone together as we (my sister and I) get older and starting our lives in different places...

I wonder what YoYo thinks when she first set her feet in the snow!!...She loved running around in the snow "unleashed", and she even enjoyed digging and eating snow....Seeing her running around in the woods made me truly feel that she is actually a Golden Retriever for once (for the longest time, I think of YoYo as my big fuzzy TOY who loves to hang out with me at home) Sledding down some small hills along the side of highway and tumbling down with YoYo is the best time I have ever had with my dog...my parents were just watching us play...I guess they were also having a GREAT time watching their kids having FUN....=)...Great family time that IS...I praise God for this c'z I know it doesn't happen that often...Very precious to me...

Well, despite all the fun I had today, I still have to say that Tahoe is much better place to enjoy winter sports, snow and scenic views...I miss that place...I used to make a yearly trip up there...Hopefully I can still manage to go again this year...

Started to journal again tonite...it was quite refreshing...this holiday season had hit me HARD in many aspects...striking a real meaning behind this "water-down" & "distorted" Christmas is a tough and LONELY journey. Running against the current of consumerism, materialism, and dualism of Christianity is VERY tiring and discouraging at times. Surrounding by endless advertising and hidden messages gives me a hard time to breathe and be clear-minded. I stand firm, but feeling extremely alone and helpless...Shower by series of questions regarding my next step/future by families and friends sometimes often leave me unresolved conflicts within. Reading Mustard Seed versus McWorld challenge me to analyze and think even more, and it also gives me courage to hold firm to the value of Mustard Seed.

Seriously, we all need to STOP our normal routines and ask ourselves WHY DO WE DO WHAT WE DO!! As Christians, our culture values [consumerism, materialism, individualism, American Dreams] shouldn't modify and define the direction of our lives; our faith should.
"Many of us have permitted modernity, instead of our faith, to define not only our notion of the good life and better future but most of the priorities and rhythms of our lives."~ from Mustard Seed versus McWorld by Tom Sine

The other day, I was talking with some friends about why there aren't many cases of persecutions among Christians in the West...there are many reasons perhaps...well, today I got another answer...it's simply because we [Christians in the West] aren't DIFFERENT from the rest of the societies [the "norm"]. We simply have adapted and managed a "normal" way of living in this world. Since we're no different than the rest of the world, why would the world hate us or persecute us? Why would the world even want to be like us?...

Recently I have kept on asking myself these questions: "Am i crazy? Have I taken it too far? Maybe I'm too extreme? Maybe I can find a middle ground to stand? Why can't I just settle for a "normal" life? Do I feel isolated or lonely? What does it mean when Jesus said, ¡§Follow me."? Are all these just the post-M-syndromes?" Maybe, this is where the word "chosen" comes in...God first chose us...When Jesus was calling his disciples, he sought them out and asked them to follow him. In response of Jesus' calling, they dropped everything and followed Jesus...

Obedience...

:: Posted by Betsy 4:18:00 AM [+] ::
...

Getting out of the house (covered with smog of misunderstanding and impatience) to catch some FRESH air...ahhhhh...it was refreshing! Today was the EFC "middle-class"(aka. middle generation class of 98'-01') reunion...it was very nice to see some old friends--people that I looked up to when I first came to Berkeley as a freshman; people who inspired me to pursue a deeper love for Jesus; people who encouraged me to sell out more and to love with passion. It's neat that we could still keep in touch and share our life as God continue shaping us and blessing us. We all had grown in many different ways and many of us took different paths to walk on, but we could all trace back to see evidences of God's glory and grace in the footprints of our journeys. I had to say that I had a good healthy doze of spirit-filled fellowship that I was longing for weeks or even months since I left the encouraging CPRE community. These encouraging, passionate, and faithful brothers and sisters in Christ had brought me hopes, loves, and prayers during this difficult and crucial time of my life. They gave me more courage to persevere and hopes. Thank God for bring angels to my life when I needed the most. (Guys, thanks for your listening ears and prayerful advises...)

Looking back at the winds and waves swept through my life during the past week and till now, I'm very grateful for all the words of encouragements, confirmations, and advices that I've received through letters, emails, phone-calls, conversations and prayers. God brought many people to show a simple truth that I often forget or refuse to believe in time of trouble--he cares and people care. As simple as it is, but it's hard to take it by heart when all one sees is pitch black and howling winds in a storm.

Isaiah 42:6-10
"I, the LORD , have called you in righteousness;
I will take hold of your hand.
I will keep you and will make you
to be a covenant for the people
and a light for the Gentiles,
to open eyes that are blind,
to free captives from prison
and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness.

"I am the LORD ; that is my name!
I will not give my glory to another
or my praise to idols.
See, the former things have taken place,
and new things I declare;
before they spring into being
I announce them to you."

Sing to the LORD a new song,
his praise from the ends of the earth,
you who go down to the sea, and all that is in it,
you islands, and all who live in them.

All the hardships and trials disappear as I approach the Throne of Grace and worship (perhaps, it's just a change of the perspective--the proper perspective of life)...Why/Who am I, so blessed, to be chosen by God? (That's the question that I've been thinking about for the past 4 months) Perhaps, I will never understand why he has chosen me to walk on this path...it's simply by his profound and amazing grace...

"Follow me." This simple commend of Jesus speaks both the complexity and also the simplicity of the action following. For few, it's simply to leave everything and follow Him. For many, it's hard to leave everything behind and follow Jesus. However, for even more, it's hard to leave everything behind, and it's even HARDER to know WHAT to follow. Perhaps, the act of following is not so much of a sacrifice after all. It's a PREVILIAGE to follow. Maybe it's not about the sacrifice that we have to make in order to follow; it's about promises behind following Jesus.

Perhaps, the first step of following Jesus and carrying the cross is to LOVE my families; love those who don't fully understand why I do what I do...Hopefully one day that they will understand and even join me on this journey of following Jesus.

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. " (1 Corinthians 13:1-7)

:: Posted by Betsy 3:29:00 AM [+] ::
...

It seems to me that a million years had passed by since I last posted anything on this blog...my life during the past 5 days was like a winter storm...for awhile, I didn't feel like to write much (perhaps, too much to describe in words...) now, everything is slowly calming down as the silent and holy night sneaking into my chaotic life (what a contradicting image!). It supposed to be a night a peace, joy, love and hope...but somehow, I'm having a really hard to grasp and proclaim that Peace.

Christmas!!....celebrating the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ...Imagine a birthday party (Jesus is my best friend in town), I would probably be preparing a grand feast and gather many friends to celebrate this friendship and to appreciate who Jesus is, and to reflect what he means to me. Perhaps, this is the time for me to appreciate Jesus' friendship and what he has done for me, especially on his birthday!! On contrary, I found myself having a really hard time to express my joy and peace and to meditate the meaning of Christmas in this season. It's very lonely to be "almost" the only Christian in the family. I feel I almost have to hide my joy of salvation and the celebrating of the birth of my King...I'm not sure if I can fully convey how I feel about this Christmas season after my journey through the Dailand. Christmas seems to have a different meaning to me this year...A meaning that even more "meaningful" and "real", but somehow I actually feel even more "alone" and "empty"....(maybe it doesn't make much sense...)

I wish one day that I can share this joy with my whole family. One day that we all can grasp that Jesus is the most precious gift that one can ever offer. Jesus, thank you for this most precious gift of salvation...

:: Posted by Betsy 9:37:00 PM [+] ::
...

Busy...busy...I had a pretty KRAZY day going from one place to the other (I guess I'm still not use to this "fast-pace-Bay-Area-life-style")...Another storm hit the Bay today, but it didn't seem to stop people's "busy-ness". I was out the WHOLE day (wow, that's my new record high--# of hrs that I'm out)...Streets of Berkeley were still full of people and cars...Freeways were even worst--packed with cars...I hope Annie made it to PacBell Park on time today ^_^

I'm really tired now (time to hit the sacks soon)...I feel today was all about meeting multiple deadlines in 24 hrs...(First time since I got back that I didn't get to sit around reflecting or reading in my leisure time.)...Life back to the Bay Area is slowly turning back to my old time-energy-consuming-lifestyle? it is very easy to spread myself too thin. Gotta watch out I guess...After all, I see all these "busy-ness" are one form of blessings at this stage of my life...Welcome back to Berkeley, Betsy!!

:: Posted by Betsy 11:28:00 PM [+] ::
...

"TSPM that is...I wish you guys could have been here, yall would have flipped. I went up the road to the church to what I thought was going to be a small gathering of people praying and singing, not at all Over 500 people showed up..."

I was ecstatic reading this email sent by my friend in China....Praise God for moving so mightily among this people group! Yeah, I totally agreed with my friend--I wish I could have been here. What an exciting image to see!! Hundreds came hearing the Gospel for the first time...It's like the book of Acts coming to life...This place is HAPPENING!! It's so happening! Feeling a bit missing out, but in many ways, I totally feel that I'm part of this through prayer!! We will see when I can actually be part of it physically in the near future...In His time!

I'm so in awe of what God has been doing over there...Speechless...I don't even have a word to really describe how I feel now. Call and share this great news with some people in the past hours, though I have the desire to share with the whole world about this amazing story....I just can't stop praising God for his work there!

Wow...

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked for him." (1John 5:14)

:: Posted by Betsy 11:45:00 PM [+] ::
...

It was the second consecutive night I woke up in the middle of the night by the howling wind and pounding rain in the Bay Area...sleepless night...*sigh*...Well, thankfully, this morning I was warmly greeted by my long-forgotten friend--sunlight. What a nice day out! (though it's still a bit chilly and windy out there)...It's amazing what sunlight can do to a person's emotion...I guess I probably can't survive in Seattle after all...

Well, so I finally get my acts together working on the power point presentations that I think about day and night...It's been refreshing reflecting on my trip to the Dailand and to think about how to communicate God's passion for the people there. Watching the video "To the Ends of the Earth" produced by CP drew tears in my eyes, cry inside my heart, and the longing to work with the unreached people group in the 10/40 windows. How refreshing it is that I can gather my thoughts and prayers on God...Materialism smog and consumerism fogs in the busy-fast-pace North America life is in some ways or another are choking me every since I got back. Perhaps, this re-entry is harder than I thought during this holiday seasons when everyone is so busy...I'm still try to understand what are we busy for? Is it for shopping? Is it for giving gifts? Is it for family gathering? Is it for sharing our love with other people? or Is it for celebrating the life that Jesus Christ given us 2000+ years ago on the Cross? I really wander what this "American" culture is coming down to...

So today, my quest of where to settle down is finally seeing some "light"...Most likely I will be staying in the Bay Area till June, and then hopefully I can get involved with CP's travel team to do some more MOB works in fall 2003!! I can't wait to see the endless opportunities that God has placed in front of me and to walk in steps of faith to "press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.?(Philippians 3:14)

The Hammer Holds
by Bebo Norman

A shapeless piece of steel, that's all I claim to be
This hammer pounds to give me form, this flame, it melts my dreams
I glow with fire and fury, as I'm twisted like a vine
My final shape, my final form, I'm sure I'm bound to find

So dream a little dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little cry for me so I can bear the flames
And hurt a little hurt for me, my future is untold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

The water, it cools me gray, and the hurt subdued somehow
I have my shape this sharpened point, what is my purpose now?
And the question, it still remains, what am I to be?
Perhaps some perfect piece of art displayed for all to see

A hammer pounds again, but flames I do not feel
This force that drives me helplessly through flesh and wood reveals
A burn that burns much deeper, it's more than I can stand
The reason for my life was to take the life of a guiltless man

So dream a little dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little cry for me so I can bear the pain
And hurt a little hurt for me, my future is so bold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

This task before me may seem unclear, but it, my maker holds

:: Posted by Betsy 11:55:00 PM [+] ::
...

Gusty winds and crazy rain continues...I guess it's just a preview of an El Nino winter. I still remember the winter of 97 (my freshman year) when El Nino hit pretty hard in the Bay Area...raining non-stop for a week was quite normal. I got soaked by crazy wind & rain going to my first CAL final exam and then my clothes got dried out during the 3 hrs exam time (that was NOT cool).

Anyhow, so I gathered my courage yesterday (Sat) and went on the road in the crazy rain (yes California drivers can't really drive in the bad weathers) to Ray's presentation in Castro Valley. That was a LONG drive--one and a half hour...normally it only takes 25-30 min to get there. I saw two accidents on the road...It's a bad day to drive around, I guess...

[Annie just called me on my cell, she got stuck on Bay Bridge at this very moment...(it took her 1 hrs to get to the Toll station on the Bay Bridge from Berkeley) funny, yesterday I was just telling her how she should leave Pleasanton at 1pm if she wants to get to PacBell Park by 4pm...and we were all laughing like crazy...haha...now here she is, got stuck in this crazy traffic on the bay bridge...feel bad for her, but it's kinda funny too =D]

So the presentation went pretty well despite the crazy weather outside...It was good to see Ray (I miss all my teammates very much @_@)...For a moment I was expecting to find Dan, Marcia, Julie, Jannette, Alice, Josh, and Sam (the rest of my teammates) to show up at the Ray's presentation. Perhaps I was seeking that sense of completeness, security, and a safe harbor for some reasons...I have to admit it's kinda weird being alone after spending 3 months intensive time with all of them (although solitary time is what I wanted the most at the end of the trip) Coming back to the Bay Area, I wasn't sure if people would understand what had just happened to me during the past 3-4 months (on top of trying to understand all that had been happening here while I was gone)....perhaps, how could I expect my friends to know if I don't tell them...(It's all part of Post Mission Syndrome I guess...)

Despite all that internal feeling/emotions, God has really shown me his unceasing faithfulness through this short week of time since I got back. Grace and love were shown through my friends and families. Conversations that I have had with people are great encouragements to me, and many pairs of listening ears have caught me by surprised. God always exceed our expectations in many different ways. Many have patiently listen to my random thoughts and convictions about the trip at times when I don't expect people to actually care/listen or when I feel that no one would understand me anyway. May this be my prayer: "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect." (1 Peter 3:15)

Gotta get ready to my home church , Harvest Berkeley, for the first time after 4+ months of being away...We'll see how it goes...I'm feeling a bit excited and also nervous...

:: Posted by Betsy 1:19:00 PM [+] ::
...

Raining...non-stop ever since this morning...I heard it's to rain for the WHOLE week...oh my...what happen to the California sunshine?? I guess I had stayed in LA for too long and got spoiled by the "take-it-for-granted" sunshine. *sigh*....I heard this is the first real winter storm that hit the Bay Area so far...pretty crazy...3" of rain in Berkeley already...Couple feet of snow up in Tahoe already [NICE]...I saw on the news that highway 24 near the Caldecott Tunnel had over 20+ accidents today. There was a point where one side of the freeway is more like a parking lot full of CHP, ambulance, and smashed-junk-car. Madness...I'm glad I could stay home today....

Feeling a bit lazzzzzzzzy now...maybe its the weather. Doesn't really feel like to do much...Gloomy weather is a bit depressing...today is a weird day, anyway.

Holiday season's "busy-ness" seems to get to everyone in town...busy shopping, traveling, visiting family, buying gifts, going to Christmas parties...I hope this is not what Christmas is all about...American culture driving by values of consumerism...I wonder what this is all coming down to in the future...

Kinda got used to the slower pace of life and relationship-based way of life in China...it's still a bit weird being throw back into this fast-paced lifestyle and "time is money" mentality in the States, specially an even faster speed in the Bay Area. Being out of the loop and looking at people going about their routines of busy-ness of life, it's quite interesting. Perhaps, slowing I'm getting back to this loop and routine, and I found myself being more protective of "my?valuable time...Even though I've learned to view time on a quite different scale during two months of staying in the interior China, ... Like Dan said in his blog, "One's time [in China] seemed easy to give freely to another." Time seems to be more valuable to people and is harder to give it to people back in the States.

Everyone in the world has only 24 hrs a day, but this the same amount of 24 hrs seems to span longer in certain part of the world....weird!

:: Posted by Betsy 11:53:00 PM [+] ::
...

Hearst Memorial Mining Building...Home of Materials Science Engineering at Cal. Grand opening day was on Sept 22, 2002...Didn't have a chance to be there, so I guess today's visit is my personal grand-opening day. It was weird being in that building after all these years at Cal studying MSE without an official building. It's home of all MSE alumni at last...Kinda wish I could be the one using the facilities (not like I would go back to school again for the sake of using this building...=P) Last time I was inside this building was during the 97' Cal Day when I first visited Cal. I went to check out one of the X-ray lab downstairs...it was neat to see all those SEM and TEM pictures....(ok, too much nerdy talks..

2:47pm...Sat down by the Campanile overlooking the Bay and the Golden Gate Bridge...what a view of the bay...I stayed there for about 20 min journaling and watching students walking to their final exams or review sessions. I wonder what were they thinking as they walking from one building to another....Feeling a bit aimless at this moment. Not so sure what's next...Perhaps, I was trying to grasp the feeling of knowing exactly where I belong while I was back in China. Fresh cold air greets my face! How refreshing!! But my mind seems to be a bit blurry still...Kinda of like the fog in SF lingering around, waiting to be cleared by a sharp array of sunlight.

Still thinking much about the place in China where I spent two amazing months of my life. Now, living and experiencing life in the Bay Area...I really don't know which one to choose....I love them all...

So my Cafe hopping in Berkeley has officially begun today...The Royal Ground Cafe on Shattuck & Channing is what I called "THE cafe"...I used to go there really often one summer. Got a cup of Jasmine Tea and sat down with my books and journal....Reading Mustard Seed Versus McWorld makes me think how I've been very IGNORANT towards many global and environmental issues through all these years of immersing in American Dream as a new immigrant, consumerism and materialism (btw, studying materials science has nothing to do with materialism...^_^). Marketing strategies sell not only products but also its values...It is SO VERY true...Maybe it's time to be more "global sensitive". Christian stewardship is something I should seriously be thinking about...How to live a life reflecting God's kingdom value?....

SO, guess who I bumped into today at The Cafe? Well, I would say he's the least person I would expect to bump into....an old friend, HanJun, my EE143 TA. He's a very humble Korean Christian...one of the BEST TA I had ever had--God's love was the evidence of his teaching and example...=) I was blessed tremendously by this surprising meeting. Finding out how God has been working in his life and seeing how he strives to find the meaning of this life is very encouraging to me. I was able to share God's love for the Dai and my growing desire to reach the unreached with clarity and passion through the aid of Holy Spirit. It was neat!! Through talking to him, I was encouraged by a great deal, and my desire to share my trip with people has increased even more. Praise God!

More thoughts....So I was thinking about brokenness. Perhaps BROKENESS is the key measurement of receptivity of the Gospel. Brokenness is the catalyst for reconciliation and salvation; brokenness is also the fuel of a revival. The power behind a broken and contrite spirit is not to be under-estimated. Perhaps a humble and broken heart is the most sober and pure heart that can see God...

Why do we have to walk till the end of our path and then we can finally surrender? Perhaps, we don't have to...Do we really need to beat ourselves to death in order to see the reality of life? Surrender, struggle, perseverance....how do these relate to the JOY? What does it mean when Apostle Paul said suffering with JOY? Perhaps living in this world of imperfection requires a broken heart to see the perfection & glory of God. When we walk to the end of the road and arrive at the feet of a high Mountain, that's when we realize how HIGH and Majesty this Mountain is. It's all about PERSPECTIVES...6:25pm

:: Posted by Betsy 1:42:00 AM [+] ::
...

Ahhhh..."fresh smell" of Berkeley and the Bay Area...it was drizzling and foggy (classic!)...chill cold & refreshing air greeted me by surprised as I rolled down my windows driving through Berkeley last night. Ahhhh...I miss that fresh breeze...I miss these "crazy" streets and people!! Perhaps, I didn't realize how much I miss this place until I was actually there! I was a little anxious about coming back here, but i guess Berkeley is still the cute-ghetto-crazy-Berserkeley after all...

Cruising through the city...I had a urge to just parked somewhere and walked into a Cafe...Buy myself a cup of hot tea and sit down to SUCK in all the ambiances around me & do people watching =) Why didn't I do that!?!...(maybe I was worrying about my Obadiah (my guitar) sitting in the trunk getting too cold)...I had to unload myself at home first...

Landed at Mario La Fiesta (at the corner of Telegraph & Haste) last night for dinner with all my Mario-Eating-Buddies...Yummy...a classic taste of super burrito w/o beans...YUMM...Mario was the place I had my last meal before I left Berkeley 4 months ago...of course, it's gonna be the place I would have my first meal when I get back...Inside Mario, time seems stopped while I was in China...decor looks the same, people look the same, food still tastes YUM...for a split second, i really thought it was August, 2002--the day I left Berkeley...

Everything else beside Mario was changing in light-speed while I was gone...city's new buildings, new stores, UC Berkeley's new dorms, new facility buildings, new signs, new batch of cute-little freshman, my friends' new friends...perhaps, I was changing in light-speed as well during the past 4 months...still not sure how I feel exactly and how to create consistency in the midst dynamic changes...maybe consistency is over-rated anyway...=P

North-Cal rocks...it's weird, it's like this whole place full of magical air...once you breathe it in, you will just fall in love with this place...College Ave in Claremont/Ashby/Berkeley is this cute little session of the town filled with air of holiday seasons--charming & petite stores and cafe full of its characters. It's surely one of those nice places to spend your afternoon at...Last night; I purposely drove through this part of time just to check it out even though it's actually a detour for me. Perhaps, it was like the Triumph Entrance that one must take entering Berkeley. Or you can take Telegraph Ave down directly to Sather Gate/Spoul Plaza of UC Berkeley...but i guess it's a different kind of neat feeling...more ghetto-hippies!

Home sweet home!! Berkeley....after all, i guess I really miss this place...but again, what is home and where is home anywhere?..."Jesus replied, 'Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.'" (Matthew 8:30)

Where I should land next? I still dunno...full of excitements and endless opportunities...we'll see where the Lord leads!

:: Posted by Betsy 3:21:00 PM [+] ::
...

May God's glory be the evidence of my reflection on this sober journey of grace...

By grace alone...
I can Worship God;
I can Love;
I have Hope;
I can stumble and fall with Grace;
I have Peace;
I have Faith;
I have Freedom in Christ;
I have Joy;
I can view this world with a whole new perspective.

"For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God's abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ. "--Roman 5:17

"After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb..."--Revelation 7:9

:: Posted by Betsy 1:22:00 AM [+] ::
...